10 Simple Ways to Connect with your Child

There are many tactics and parenting techniques out there, but the ultimate one I am most drawn to is: connection. Often when kids are not listening or needing discipline,  they simply lack connection from us. Below are 10 simple ways to feel more connected and be present in your kid(s) life. 

1. Slow Down

Much of our lives are already busy. Our kids work best in an unhurried and peaceful environment. What are some ways that  you can slow down to be more engaged?

2. Recognize them as Individuals

Our kids have their own personalities, desires, wants, hopes and dreams. What can you do to foster that even if it is different from yours? 

3. Incorporate small “dates” into your weekly or monthly schedule with your child.

 What are some activities that you could do 1-on-1 with your child this week to make them feel known and special?

4. Hide your phone

When you are home, give your phone a “home”. Place it in a drawer, turn it off or put it in a different room. Take away the distraction so you can be fully present. 

5. Get on the same level with your child

Playing on the ground is particularly important for little children. This helps them feel more present and connected to you when you are the same level as your child. If your child is older, maybe stop and sit down to fully engage in conversation or a game with them. What are some ways you can be on the same level as them as you engage in play?

6. Teach them compassion 

We model what is taught. How we respond and react to their behavior will stay with them for the rest of their life. What are some ways you can show compassion to them when they mess up? What are ways you can show them to be self-compassionate?

7. Be Curious

Ask them lots of questions even when they seem ridiculous. Often kids do not just open up about their day or what they are experiencing. But they crave you to see the world through their eyes. Next time, your child is trying to tell you something, keep asking them questions. This helps give them direction and allows them to express themselves more. 

8. Listen

How often do we plow over our kids because of certain tasks at hand or tune them out? Listening is not always just with our ears, but also with your facial expressions and body language. Fully engage with your child in this way, which also helps them engage with you for listening in the future! 

9. Be Generous with Praises

Praises boost confidence, connection, self-worth and good behavior. Whenever you see your child doing something good (even if they “should know” to do it) praise them! What does it hurt? You may be surprised to see them start praising others in the process!

10. Do something you have to do each day, together.

You could cook, clean, get the mail, read a book, exercise, etc. Whatever you do already each day, have your child do it with you. Even if it takes you a few extra minutes of clean up or preparation. This builds skills and connection in something that is already built out in your day.